We also learn attitudes. We learn attitudes toward food and what it is for. We learn attitudes about how to cope with rough times. We learn attitudes toward taking care of our health and attitudes toward exercise.

We also learn attitudes that are sometimes harder for us to put our fingers on.

• Can people change? Does your family have faith that YOU can change?
• Did your family have hope that things will get better?
• What type of person takes charge of his or her life- a responsible person or an arrogant one?
• Does our family want us or allow us to change or do they want to always see us act as we did when we were kids? For example, if "Mark" has always been non-athletic, will the family constantly give Mark a hard time if he begins to exercise? "Oh, it's great - Mark is exercising." Or, "Mark will never keep that up!"
• What would the family say about Mark if they found out he was consulting with a psychologist? Would they be supportive? Critical? Guilty? Happy to see him get whatever help with his diabetes that he needs?

What is our relationship to doctors and nurses? Do we talk to them as if they are smart friends who may be able to help us?  Do we act like children who behave badly occasionally, or do we think of them as partners who would like to see us do well?

These are all the "melodies" we grew up with. Sometimes we don't know it when we are living our lives according to them. Our "family melodies" can help us or hinder us, depending on what they are.